U-M Counseling and Psychological Services

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How to help yourself nurture yourself!

  • When you fail at something, say: “That’s okay. I’ll do better next time.”
  • Try to find one thing a day about which you feel proud and praise yourself.
  • When you’re feeling blue, say, “It’s okay. I will be alright.”
  • Let yourself cry when you feel like it.
  • If your day was rough, relax in the evening or as soon as you can.
  • Accept compliments from others with pride.
  • Accept “mistakes” you’ve made without condemning yourself.
  • When you try something new and don’t catch on right away, give yourself credit for trying.
  • When you succeed, say it was because you worked hard.
  • Reward yourself sometimes for no particular reason at all.

How to help a friend

  • Involve them. Try to get your friend or relative involved with others. This will help them see that they can make a positive contribution to events, people, etc.
  • Give them positive feedback. Tell your friend or relative about his or her strengths, accomplishments and assets. This will let them know that you think they are important enough to remember these things, as well as help them learn to positively reinforce their own behavior.
  • Express your care and concern. Let your friend or relative know how much you value them and their place in your life. This will give them a greater sense of belonging.
  • Encourage them. Try to get your friend or relative to learn something new. Applaud successes, attempts, and even failed attempts.
  • Laugh with them, not at them. Help your friend or relative to laugh at their and your mistakes by trying to find some humor (when appropriate) in their life.
  • Listen to them. Allow your friend or relative to express themselves by giving him or her your complete attention while they are speaking to you. This will let them know that their opinions matter to you and that their concerns are important enough to be heard, paid attention to, and understood.

Find more information on helping someone with self-esteem HERE.